145. Ignorance and Bliss

As I was winding the day down and thinking of treating myself to some McDonald's french fries (we'll pretend they're not cooked in beef fat), I had the misfortune of coming across this. One of the homies shared an article on Facebook about an artist who's been photographing a McDonald's Happy Meal, waiting for it to decompose.  Six months and still nothing.

I knew McDonald's was no good for my insides, but I didn't really  need photographic proof.  What kind of potato never decomposes?  I mean seriously.  I watched a series on PBS about healthy eating where the lecturer said that you should never eat anything that won't eventually rot.  If it doesn't break down on the shelf, it won't break down properly in your body (so the thinking went).  Makes sense to me.  I've been gradually cutting out preservatives and partially hydrogenated otherness from my food for a while now.

But dang it!  Why'd they have to go and ruin McDonald's fries for me?  Stupid internet =(.

138. Photo Synthesis

In my third attempt at my newest hobby, I photographed my yummy vegan-y lunch today.  Vegetable relish and hummus on a pita.  Looking at the last pictures, I realized I had way too much stuff in the frame.  So this time I went for just the food.  I tried to pick up a pretty plate from Target, but they actually didn't have any (how is that possible?).  I think a pretty square plate would've looked nicer, but I worked with what I had.

To get some good light, I took the picture on the patio table in the backyard.  I used my dad's cutting board as a "background."  I may use some fabric or scrapbook paper to get some nice color in future pics.  I took 9 or 10 shots and settled on one to edit.  Here it is:

This composition isn't bad.  The picture is a little dark, and the veggies aren't that well balanced... there are too many cucumbers on the right side... But overall, a decent shot.  I wasn't sure what to do with the top piece of bread so I just kinda offset it.  I would've liked to get the hummus more prominently displayed in the shot, too.  You don't know it's there unless I tell you.

Anyway, I edited the shot to get my "official" attempt.  I cropped the picture to get a more flattering composition, with the food filling more of the frame.  And I upped the brightness just a teensy bit so it doesn't look like the food was in a shadow when I took the picture.  I think it came out well:

When it comes to food with multiple pieces plating is really important.  The folks on Top Chef are really good at it.  That's actually one of my favorite parts of the show.  Figuring out what size and shape your plate should be, what color the bowl should be, whether to put something in the center or off to the side, where to put utensils... all of that is up to the plater/photographer.  So I'm playing around with it.

I also found this pretty cool food photography portfolio by a guy named Michael Ray.  He gets in really close on some of his shots and composes things in ways that I probably wouldn't.  But he's a professional and I have no idea what I'm doing, so...  He has a nice picture of a basket of strawberries.  Maybe I'll throw some fruit in a bowl and see what I can come up with.

Of course it would help if I had the right equipment.  There's a macro (close-up) lens out there calling my name.  As soon as I figure out how to pull $400 out of thin air...

137. Fotography

I am currently having a fling with food photography.  We're not really cut out for each other, but it's a lot of fun, and who hasn't salivated over a picture of a steak or cupcake?  There's that Domino's commercial out right now about the weird things they do to food to make it look good in photographs.  I'm sure we have no idea.  On a smaller scale there's a handful of tricks of the trade of photographing food to make it look appetizing.

A lot of it is pretty basic.  Use good lighting.  Don't have too much clutter in the picture.  Get in close.  Not too much on the plate.  Have an attractive background/place setting.  It's not something I'm going to spend that much time on, but it's a kinda groovy hobby.  To be able to take a picture of a piece of chocolate cake that makes people say, "Ooooh... I want that."

I first tried my hand at it a couple months ago with a mango in the backyard.  Those pictures weren't really good at all.  Today after I had chopped up a bunch of vegetables to make this "relish" my grandma makes, I decided to try it again.  I left the scraps on the cutting board to add some color to the pictures and make them more interesting.

I think this isn't bad for a second attempt.  If I had it to do over again, I would put the relish in a more interesting bowl.  Or I could leave all the chopped vegetables loose on the cutting board and photograph them in a pile.  I don't like the way the lime came all, with the flesh all blown out and not really detailed at all.  But the pepper looks good.  And there's a lot of color in the bowl, though there's a lot of shadows, too.

I don't normally edit pictures, but I decided to play with this one.  The picture below is what I got after I took the original shot, cropped out the blank space at the top, increased the color saturation, and raised the color temperature a bit.  I suspect this is pretty standard stuff in food photography.  And I suspect they do much more than this.  

Food and fashion photography are actually two places I probably wouldn't mind a lot of editing.  One of the reasons I couldn't be a professional photographer is because I object to editing photographs.  I used to have a real beef about it.  Now I just think "to each their own" and it's not for me.  It's kinda like with film.  Some people write screenplays and hire people to play parts and make movies.  And we all enjoy those movies and the stories they tell us.  Other people prefer to point a camera out at the world and just record what happens, documentary-style.  I'm definitely a documentary photographer.  None of my favorite photographs is posed.  For me, they're the records of this or that great thing that happened, exactly as it was.

117. Food Life

But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
 - Matthew 4:4, KJV
 

I've had an interesting food life lately.  A couple months ago, I was sure I was developing a gluten intolerance (Celiac disease).  I know people who have it and apparently it's not all that uncommon.  I had been having weird reactions after meals and based on my intensive internet research, that was the most fitting self-diagnosis.

I've also had auto-immune symptoms in the past and been tested for everything under sun, all negative.  So the idea of going back to the doctor wasn't really a promising one for me.  I resoved to go gluten-free and cure myself.  I made that resolution about 5 minutes after I made the diagnosis, which obviously was not sufficient time for thought.  But it gave me an excuse to blow money at Whole Foods so I jumped at it.

The next day at breakfast I sat down to a plate of scrambled eggs, turkey sausage and toasted gluten-free bread with apricot preserves.  The eggs and sausage were their usual goodness, but that "bread"...  Well...

Let's just say that was the end of my gluten-free diet.  No offense to the gluten-free population, or the people who feed them, but you gotta be frikkin kiddin me.  As a fat girl, bread is my favorite food group.  Cakes, cookies, sandwiches, biscuits, muffins, toast, cornbread, cereal.... These are the things that make a meal.  A food life without them is no food life at all.  So we needed a new solution.  (Sidenote:  If you don't mind cooking from scratch, Bob's Red Mill products are not half bad.  They make a yummy pancake mix.  But I can't bake my own bread every time I want a sandwich, so...)

Back to the drawing board.  That's where my mom and her tv preachers come in (again).   While I was looking for the next magic bullet, one of the teachers she watches was doing a 5-part series on divine healing called "God Wants You Well."  Bits and pieces would creep in as I wandered through the kitchen in the morning getting ready for school.  One of those bits proved to be pivotal and completely changed the way I thought about being sick.

Since I love bread, and I see no reason God would want me to not eat bread, and since gluten-free bread is gross, I decided to not have Celiac Disease.  Done.

Of course there's more to healing than just being stubborn.  The last few weeks have seen some pretty intense changes in my thinking and behavior.  But the bottom line is that I've decided not to be sick.  Maybe when it's done, I'll let you know how I did it.

109. Peace of Cake

I haven't been at it long, but I'm happy to report that so far adulthood hasn't been nearly as unpleasant as I'd (sometimes) imagined.  It's actually been kinda nice.

There are at least three jobs I'd look forward to getting up and doing everyday.  I'm surrounded by children whose company I enjoy.  I've secured pretty impressive food, clothing, and shelter for much less that you'd expect.  And I still get to take off for the occassional play date with the homies.  All good stuff.

And as for the hard parts... making grown-up decisions, etc... even that's not so bad.  It can suck, but I've found that most adulty things can be handled fairly well by following a few "simple" steps.  They are:

No. 1: Recognzie.  This is the easy part.  In any rough situation, step back, take a long, calm look around, and figure out what's actually going on, in one sentence or less.

No. 2: Strategize.  This is a little trickier.  It means taking the result of No. 1 and figuring out what your course of action should be.  If No. 1 is "I hate my job," maybe No. 2 is "I should quit."  Then again, maybe it's "I should play a more decisive role is how things are done at work."  Figuring out the healthiest, most productive long-term strategy is key.  Don't rush it.

No. 3: Follow through on No. 2.

No. 4: Let it be.  This means not obsessing over the thing you stopped, started, changed, or let go for the next four years.  Assuming you made the right call, find a way to appreciate and even enjoy it.  It doesn't make sense to spend your time mourning something you got right.  Take the W and keep it moving.

So there you have it.  Puff's fool-proof plan for acing adulthood.  Or whatever =).

95. The Barista

On the journey to adulthood, a free spirit develops an ever-expanding list of "I will not"s. This is a list of the things most/many adults tacitly consent to that the free spirit simply won't accept. The list generally includes things like "I will not work 80 hours a week," "I will not inhabit a cubicle," and "I will not be chained to a Blackberry." My own list has also included "I will not have a coffee habit," and "I will not not see my friends."

I murder that last one. Ask anyone. But I have recently (temporarily?) accepted defeat on the caffeine resistance. For the next couple of years at least, it's me and the beans. Since I don't want to go broke, I've begun working on my at-home barista game.

First we pulled out the espresso maker our adviser kindly donated a few years back. Then we grabbed up some beans from Target. Since we're picky we hit up Starbucks for Hazelnut syrup and were astonished to find that they sell liters of flavored syrup for only 7 bucks (Why am I paying $4 for a latte again???). A gallon of Silk's finest vanilla soymilk and we were in business.

I served up my first attempt to my sister, not normally a latte drinker. Very good reviews. Looking forward to future iterations. I tried an earlier version myself but haven't patronized my services since. Coffee and food don't play well together in my digestive tract, so I have to take one or the other in the morning. My inner fat girl wants the food. Not sure how that's gonna work, but I'll keep you posted.

90. The Fruit of the Earth

Once upon a time, I went clubbing with the homies and stayed out til the big-girl hours of the morning. Since I'm not a robot, I downed a couple Red Bulls to keep me in the game. Fast forward three days into my work week, and my body's heroine-like response to the caffeine infusion made it almost impossible for me to function without stimulants.

Now my brain is telling me it can't work 14 hours a day without help. Since I'm no fan of cultivating dependencies, I tell my brain that's too bad. But more and more it's looking like there's a serious coffee habit in my (very near) future. The difference between Me With Coffee and Me Without Coffee could easily bridge the gap between what I'm actually getting done and what I need to be getting done. And since I'm a grown-up now (officially) and grown-ups do what they have to do...

I'm at least telling myself that coffee is from the earth, and God put it here because He knew we'd need a little kick sometimes. That helps a little. If Starbucks wasn't so delicious and so expensive at the same time, that'd help a lot.

40. Ice Cream is Delicious

It just is. I don't know what it is in my programming that makes the taste of ice cream one of the five sensory wonders of the world for me. But it is.

Yesterday I discovered Breyer's All Natural Homemade Vanilla. It tastes like the vanilla of your childhood. Before you ever knew about a Haagen-Dasz or anything fancy. A few weeks ago I discovered another flavor that quickly climbed the list of my Top Ten.

So, as summer approaches, I'm offering up a smattering of goodness you might wanna sample on those days you decide to treat yourself. These are in no particular order.

Breyer's All Natural Homemade Vanilla See above.

Haagen-Dasz Dark Chocolate Mint This is a Limited Edition flavor and I don't know how long it'll be out. The chocolate is so rich, you can't eat much of it at once, which is nice, because it lasts longer. And the mint takes some getting used to, but after a few bites, it approaches a perfect balance pretty quickly.

Ben & Jerry's Sweet Cream & Cookies This is pretty much cookies and cream except that it's not made with vanilla ice cream. The sweet cream has a slightly stronger dairy taste and it goes really well with the chocolate cookies. (Breyer's Oreo ice cream is the next best thing.)

Thomas Sweet Ginger Snap Chewy ginger snap cookies in vanilla ice cream. It's from an ice cream shop in Princeton, New Jersey and I plan on stopping by whenever I am in Princeton for the rest of my life. It was really, really good.

Baskin-Robbins Pralines & Cream This was one of the flavors I took a shot on when I decided to get something other than my regular (cookies and cream). So good. The coating on the pralines is just thick enough to be crunch and it goes really well with the vanilla. There may also be caramel in it, can't remember. But it is excellent.

Do take advantage of this list. I'll try to discover a few new flavors this summer. Maybe something with fruit it in. Or something from some mom&pop place. We'll see.

30. Fat Girl Logic

I have a pretty addictive personality. I've known this for a while. When I find something I like, I generally gorge myself on it until either a) I no longer have access to it, or b) my brain finally gets sick of it. Mostly this is true with food.

One of the most often-repeated rules of eating well is moderation. Moderation is key. I have never moderated anything in my life. It's feast or famine. Either I'm not eating cookies, or I'm eating all the cookies. I have never wanted a cookie in my life. And I don't understand the people who do.

My thinking is, the second cookie will be just as delicious as the first, so why wouldn't I eat it? And the third will be just as delicious as the second, the seventh just as delicious at the sixth, and so on until the bag is empty. This isn't always completely true. Sometimes around the twelve or thirteenth cookie I get a little tired. But never, ever after the first.

So, as a fat girl at heart, I've learned to treat cookies like alcoholics treat alcohol. Better not to have any at all, than to try to have a bit and walk away, which is damn near impossible. Once you get a taste...

2. Food Fight

I recently had my nutritional moment of clarity. The short version is that I realized that in 40 years (God willing), the food I'm eating now will either be the reason I'm well or the it'll be the reason I'm ill. It'll be the reason I have diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, no energy, and $200/month prescription bill, or it'll be the reason I don't. So I've entered a serious transition in my food life.

The way I see it, "eating food" (real good food) is going to require that I make a number of changes. Among them:

1. Giving up fast food, except on the rarest occasions. And never, ever eating anything off of a Dollar Menu. Even before my food epiphany it didn't seem right to me that someone could sell a hamburger for a dollar. Whatever you're doing (or not doing) to cows that you can raise, house, feed, slaughter, butcher, process, ship, cook, and serve them for 99 cents and still make a profit, I want no parts of it.

2. Eating raw vegetables. Right now this one means a salad for dinner every night. I'm trying to vary up what I put on them but at present its baby greens, tomatoes and cucumbers. I foresee green and red peppers, broccoli, red onions, sliced carrots, maybe some corn (maybe not), and assorted fruits. Sometimes I cook up some fish to go with it.

The crazy thing is I could feel a difference in my body almost immediately. Waking up with a system full of raw vegetables feels totally different than waking up with a gut full of 99 cent burger meat. Try it.

3. Upping the food budget. Originally I was shooting for a $200/month grocery bill. I think $250 may prove to be more realistic. Though in fairness, a huge tub of baby greens is like 7 bucks, so if I really wanted to be healthy I could probably eat for almost nothing. I do enjoy that fish though.

4. Cooking. I do not like it (except for vanilla cupcakes). But it's something I've always known I should do. Still, I would murder Jerry Seinfeld in a cereal eating contest.

5. Giving up (most) sugar. I read somewhere that a healthy sugar intake is no more than 40 grams (of added sugar) per day. That's the amount in one regular Pepsi. Half that is in most bowls of cereal. Add a granola bar and you're done for the day. Eating fruit has been key with this one. I've gotten to know bananas very well.

6. Eating organic (and maybe local). This is a big one for me. I did it years ago when I was on food stamps and not paying for my own food (... an inevitable post for another time). I'm doing it again now. It's crazy how different a tomato tastes when it hasn't been gassed and shipped across the country.

That's about it for now. If you're interested, The Future of Food is available free on hulu and Food, Inc. is up on LetMeWatchThis.com. I won't link to it because I'd hate to encourage anyone to infringe on their copyright. I'm just saying, if you were to go there, they'd have it.