13. Love and Pain

I have a history of abusive relationships. First with the City of Chicago. It brutalizes me for 5 months every year, and every year I say I'm going to leave. Then come July it smiles that smile at me, I forget I was ever mad.

My second abusive relationship is with the craft of photography. I would give my whole heart to photography if it would have it. But the more time I try to spend with it, the more I feel like I'm being shaken down for money. Every little new thing I wanna do requires this $600 lens or that $800 flash. And because I can't walk away I somehow come up with the money.

The latest thing I "have" to have is a $600 fish-eye lens. I mean how am I supposed to take super-cool pictures without it? Then there's this $350 portrait lens that would just make taking snapshots so much easier. Oh, and I still don't have a camera bag. That's about 60 bucks.

How I'll end up with any of things I don't know yet. But I'd be really surprised if I didn't have that portrait lens by the end of the year. The bag, too. And that fish-eye is probably the first thing I'd buy with an "extra" $600. Oh well...